Questions?

Recently I've wondered if any of you had questions about having a Premature child and what it's like to be a Premature mumma. A lot of you sent over some questions within my instagram through private mail and on photos so what better time to answer them all than now? So lets jump right into it.

Why did you go into labour?

I ended up going into labour due to an infection that was never detected. I started bleed while in the shower and got rushed to triage. My white blood cell count was through the roof and I was put on antibiotics straight away to try and clear the infection. I don't know what type of infection I had as when they were speaking to me about it all I completely zoned out and didn't listen to anything the medical team were saying as I was concerned about my baby.

How did you deliver your baby?

I delivered Freya naturally, no pain meds not nothing. Just a few pushes and she was here. I'm not sure if this is true or not but I was told it's harder to give birth to a preterm baby because there isn't any weight to drag them down and you have to do all the work to get them out.

How did you feel about getting discharged after giving birth?

This one is so hard to put into words. When I first got discharged from the hospital I was luck enough to get a room in the Neonatal Unit for 2 Nights as I wasn't ready to leave without my baby. Once the 2 days were up, I broke - tears flooding down my fair as I wasn't able to take my baby home with me. The whole car home I cried as I knew this wasn't right, I should of had my baby with me. I didn't sleep a wink as I just sat up crying, at this point Keir and I stayed with my dad and they both were trying to comfort me but nothing was helping as all I wanted to do was be beside my little girl. I think not knowing it Freya was going to survive was a key factor to why I couldn't cope. It's quite hard to properly explain what it's like not to take your baby home.

How did you feel seeing your baby in the NICU for the first time?

I was actually quite strong the first time seeing Freya. I didn't know how to react. She was so fragile and basically see through that I didn't know how I was meant to feel. To me she was perfect and I loved her but it was hard to see her in her incubator so tiny. I think I just took it in my stride as this was what I had to do to help my baby survive.

Were you scared to touch your baby?

Yes. Seeing her tiny and so fragile I was terrified I would break her. I placed my hand on top of her for the first few days, that is all I could bring myself to do. Watching the Neonatal staff touch her made me soon realise she wasn't as fragile as I first thought and they helped me get over my fear of touching her.

How did you bond with your baby?

Honestly it was quite hard as I wasn't able to hold her until she was 5 weeks old. To be that is a long time to not be able to feel your baby on your skin. Even though I helped with her cares and feeding her by this point, my body craved to hold her when I wasn't able to. After the first hold I bonded with Freya so easily as I knew I would be able to hold her again and again. I did what I had to do to make her feel a bond with me even though it wasn't so easy for me.

Keir and I read to her every night before we would come home and I think that helped us both bond with Freya as it was an easy way to speak to her even if we didn't know what to say.

How long were you in the Neonatal Unit for?

We were in for 122 days, 17 weeks and 4 days. It felt like a lifetime and I'm surprised we got out that quick if I'm being honest as I've read 23 weekers being in NICU for nearly 200 days.

How did you cope with visitors?

It was really quite hard to arrange with visitors. It was only 2 visitors per day at the Unit and only 3 at a bedside during visiting hours. I struggled a bit as I would have to remember who was coming in when. Granted Keir and I stopped visits for a few weeks and Freya wasn't well and we weren't coping. It is a lot to deal with and I don't think people realise this. As always it's something you need to deal with, obviously it was our decision to let people come in to see Freya and looking back on it now I'm proud of us for doing so well with it.

What advice would you give to other Premature Parents?

I would say just try to be as positive as you can. It is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do but it is so worth it in the end when you get to take you baby home. Never bottle how you are feeling, talk to your other half or family it's the best way or even the hospital staff as they aren't only there for your baby but they are there for you too. Take one day at a time as tomorrow might be tougher than the last but you are stronger than you could ever of imagined.

The Neonatal Unit isn't where you expect to bring your baby up for the first few weeks or months of your babies life but you always have to think positively about every situation.

It isn't a straight and narrow road as I well know but it is a ride worth taking.

Stay strong as you've got this.

- E xo